Merry Christmas

It all started about a year ago when I came home to find my wife experiencing small waves of cramping pains. She had gained a significant amount of weight over the last several months (despite my constant protests and reminders), and I had frankly become concerned. As the pain increased in severity and in frequency, I decided the most prudent thing to do would be to take her to the hospital. Imagine my surprise the next day to find the hospital decided to just give us a new little baby boy. I was hesitant to accept the kid at first, cause everyone knows how hard a baby is. You hafta feed it every week and let it outside when it cries, but I remembered how good I felt that time I helped the African prince retrieve his millions simply by giving my bank account information to those nice email people. Then, I knew helping this little baby would be worth it.

Jolynn seemed to have a hard time with it, of course, cause she’s not real smart with that kind of stuff. It seemed like everytime that little baby goo-goo’ed or laughed she would just start crying. I thought it was kinda cute, but it would just bum her out. Also, she’s kind of a bully to the little guy. Whenever he pulls out all the tupperware and all of her perfumes and makes a big mess, she just points and laughs at it.

All in all, though, we’ve done such a great job with that baby that it has just kept growing and growing. It walks all around the house now, and we don’t even have to give it anymore food each week – it just goes right out to the porch and eats up all the rocks and dirt that we used to sweep off. The cat shares food with it as well, so that’s another bonus.

Actually, to be quite honest, this year might have been pretty rough. We lost a brother to cancer a few months ago, as well as a friend to the same just a few weeks ago. A noble Grandfather’s life became a legacy to hard work and a testament to the truth of eternal families when he also passed away recently. But I’m healthy, Jolynn is happy, and Grant is our joy.

And inspite of all that might have made this year sad, we are full of Christmas cheer. Which is why, your Honor, I insist on wishing you a Merry Merry Christmas!